To force or not to force, THAT is the question!!!

A recent case I came by: a 16 year old Saudi girl drank bleach so as to avoid being forced into a marriage with a 75 year old man. In the end, the girl managed to appeal to the authorities, and the marriage was in fact avoided, al-hamdulillah, without her having to choose between the embrace of the grave and the embrace of a 75 year old husband.

My concern is that the father, who, in return to marrying her to the 75 year old man, was going to be able to get married to her future groom's (if a 'groom' is a word suitable for a 75 year old) 12 year old child, probably was a man who prayed the 5 obligatory salat, fasted the month of Ramadan, and considered himself to be a pious servant of Allah. How then does he not know that forcing his daughter into a marriage is completely against the laws of Allah?

This is a common mistake that many Muslims make: The belief that the father and the paternal grand father are wali mujbir, and that wali mujbir means they can force their virgin daughters to enter into any marriage of their choosing. A mistake that happens because they tend to translate technical, VERY technical, terms literally. And that too VERY literally.

The whole idea of forcing daughters into marriage is a legacy of the pre-Islamic era that that the Prophet (peace be upon him) made great efforts to do away with. It is a well-known fact of Islamic history that a girl who was given away in marriage by her father without obtaining her consent was given the right to annul the marriage when she complained to the Prophet (PBUH). But the reality of the world we live in right now is that many Muslims in many parts of the world are so unaware of the rules they claim to abide by that they find it okay to marry off their daughters despite their cries and pleas.

Wali mujbir is a technical term used to refer to the father and paternal grandfather of a girl, and literally it does mean the wali who forces. But 'forcing' here is not forcing as we know it.

The difference between these two wali and others (like the brother, and the uncle for example) is that if the others are acting as wali in a girl's marriage, the marriage won't be solemnised unless she expressly says that she consents to the marriage. However, if the father or the paternal grandfather is to be acting as wali, the virgin girl's silence is taken to be a sign of her consent.

So the other day, when one of my lecturers told our class that wali mujbir means someone who can force a girl into marriage, I was shocked. I was more shocked when she told the class that although the Shariah allows forcing virgin girls into marriage, the Malaysian law doesn't. I felt it may not be right to argue with her there. But now I want to make it clear to everyone here: wali mujbir is a technical term. Giving a simplistic and literal definition of it is not only a mistake. It is a blasphemous mistake. It is a concession to all those allegations that Islam doesn't protect woman's rights.

The current situation the Muslim world is in right now is not because of anybody else. Muslim societies all around the world are living in societal disrupt and disease because we have started to implement Islamic law without knowing the basics of it. Which brings me to what I have been saying all along: Muslims need to stop calling each other kafir and get real. Start doing something that is beneficial to the Ummah! Next time a Muslim has the itch to call another Muslim a mushrik or kafir or any one of those names they so lovingly call their brothers, they should go and educate those people who think forcing girls into marriages is a good way to get a new bride or tons of money.